Brew City Sludge - December 2009

Rökker here.

Once a month, just before Max Ink goes to press I get a phone call that goes something like this “Rokker… Klozier. I bet you need a column from me… I’ll write it tonight and email it to you tomorrow morning, I’m just driving back from a gig.”

Brian Barney, aka Lane Klozier, approached me about writing for Maximum Ink in 2004. He wanted to write about Milwaukee bands and get them some ink. At that time he was also writing for Milwaukee’s Shepherd Express, so he decided to write under his stage name “Lane Klozier.”

It wasn’t long before he had a monthly column dedicated to Milwaukee bands called Brew City Sludge. He was also in charge of what and whom he wrote about, it was his column.

He certainly had his favorites, but he always included bands I’d never heard of, from genres rarely covered by mainstream media. He was a lover of live music and an ally to its cause.

Brian passed away last month and our flags fly at half staff in his honor. Our hearts go out to his family and friends who will miss him dearly.

Brian played drums, guitar and sang in many bands since his start in the mid-eighties including Pedestrian, Guido’s Racecar and The Buggs. He was tireless in his pursuit of gigs and loved to play to a great crowd, he was a true performer. It was never long before he’d work up a sweat and remove his shirt to show off his tattoos, including Audrey Hepburn and “Punk” across his stomach.

Brian Barney was also a family man and leaves behind a daughter (Tarisa) and grandson he adored, and who adore him. He will also be missed greatly by his friend and companion Jackie. He was a great man.

I will miss that monthly talk on the phone, the kvetching back and forth about the state of music scenes, band strategy, and gigging. I will miss him as a writer, I will miss him as a friend. To you, Lane Klozier, we salute, good-bye and rest in peace. Your work is done.

Every month, Lane would end his column with a witty quip. This month, I leave you with the best quips from his five years at Maximum Ink.

That’s all for now my darlings…

Remember, Santa Claus is real…and he is hiding under your bed…plotting your doom.

Remember, it’s all about the people… Reach out and touch one.

Remember, Valentine’s Day is coming soon, and I’d like to see all of you in a nice red thong.

Remember, I love you all…more than words can say.

Remember, every new year brings hope and promise, but all that crap usually falls into the toilet, so go out and check out some shows!

Always remember: If you squeeze your eyes shut super tight and wish, wish, wish as hard as you can,  someday you will be a rock star too!

Remember: The summer festival season is upon us…get yerself a cold hot dog and a warm beer.

Remember: If you go to a KISS concert with a laser pointer, Paul Stanley is liable to kick your ass.

Remember: It’s Halloween. Get to the costume shop early this year so you don’t get stuck being a pirate again.

Remember: The orange stain that will be developing on my outer thigh will remain there until the end of football season when I stop spending an entire Sunday on the couch eating cheese puffs without a napkin.

Remember: Valentines Day is coming…go get a greeting card written by someone else and a .99 chocolate rose and make her day.

Remember. If you cut me…I bleed Green & Gold. However, (oh my God I can’t believe I’m saying this) I’m really hoping the Jets get a Monday night game this year.

Remember: Thanksgiving is almost here…turkeys are so stupid that we are doing them a favor by eating them.

Remember: Brett Favre is the best god damn QB we have ever had. Just bring him back and shut the fuck up already!

Remember: All the world is a stage…and you are my fuk’n roadies.

Remember: Behind every funny clown’s painted face…lies the face of a possible mass murderer.

Remember, spring is in the air: Take your pants off and enjoy the weather.

Remember…Brett Favre is only a human being…...with super human powers.

Remember: God gave Rock ‘n’ Roll to you…. And he’s making me write about it.

Remember: Sooner or later there will be a national health plan, and I will be your Doctor.

Remember: Being in a rock band is like having three girlfriends at the same time…and they all know about each other.

Remember: It’s a new year. Please change your underwear

That’s all for this month…in the meantime…keep it real bitches!
Lane Klozier